16 Carriages and Texas Hold Em. There are 26 tracks on Beyoncé’s “Cowboy Carter,” but those are the only two songs I could name. 

Maybe I’m just uncultured, but I do not by any means think “Cowboy Carter” deserved Album of the Year, one of the most important awards of the night. 

Chappell Roan’s “The Rise and Fall of the Midwest Princess,” was one of the most iconic albums of the year. Her victory in the Best New Artist award was well deserved. Even though I wouldn’t call her a ‘new’ artist, she absolutely broke through this year, going from Olivia Rodrigo’s opener to one of the most well known new pop stars. 

Sabrina Carpenter is not new to the music scene by any means, she’s been coming out with albums since her Disney days, but with her previous album, “Emails I Can’t Send,” she really found her sound. With “Short ‘n Sweet,” she really grew into that aesthetic. Carpenter also earned some well deserved awards, but no Album of the Year despite the fact that I can’t walk into a single store or turn on a single radio station without hearing “Espresso” or “Please Please Please.”

“Hit Me Hard and Soft” is not my typical style at all, but it was undeniably amazing. The fact that Billie Eilish walked out of the Grammys empty handed is absolutely criminal. 

Also leaving the Grammys without an award to be found, surprisingly, Taylor Swift. Despite the sheer magnitude of her fame and the insanely high quality of “The Tortured Poets Department,” Swift did not win a single award. TTPD Anthology had some of the most beautifully composed songs I’ve heard in a long time, and if they were on the original album, it would have deserved the win hands down. 

Out of all the albums nominated for AOTY, one was just purely robbed. “Brat” by Charli XCX is not like anything I would normally listen to. However, it was undeniably the album of the year. “Brat Summer” took over the world, everything was lime green and ariel font. It even made its way into the presidential race of 2024. The fact that it didn’t win this category is a crime. 

Previously, I wrote an article on Beyoncé conspiracy theories, joking about their inaccuracy. However, after the Grammys, I simply can’t believe anyone would choose “Cowboy Carter” over “Brat” or quite frankly any of the other albums nominated for AOTY without being threatened for their lives. 

Beyoncé, please set these people’s families free, you won the award.